How to Talk to Kids About the California Wildfires and Help Them Cope

How to Talk to Kids About the California Wildfires and Help Them Cope

Echoes for Generations

When I was a little girl, my grandmother told me about a fire that burned down her house when she was a child. She described how quickly the flames consumed everything they owned—her toys, books, clothes, and even the family's dishes and food. But the worst loss was the irreplaceable things: beloved pets, family photos, and heirlooms passed down through generations. Decades later, as she retold the story, her eyes still filled with tears, and her voice trembled with the weight of that childhood devastation. The fire didn't just destroy her home; it left an imprint on our family that echoed across generations. It's a reminder that the scars from tragedies run deep, especially for children.

Image source: A person uses a garden hose in an effort to save a neighboring home from catching fire during the Eaton Fire on Jan. 8, 2025, in Altadena, Calif. (Mario Tama/Getty Images)

Her story reminds me of the families now facing the aftermath of the California wildfires and the children who will carry these memories with them forever. It's hard to watch the news about the devastating wildfires in California without feeling heartbroken. Families from all socio-economic backgrounds have lost their homes, their people, their pets, their belongings, and their sense of security. For thousands of children, life has been turned upside down.  

If your child is directly affected by this tragedy, they're likely feeling scared and overwhelmed. Even if your family is not personally impacted, it's natural for children to have questions. How do we help them process such immense loss? And how do we use moments like this to teach empathy and compassion?  

Let's dive in.  

 

For Families Directly Affected by the California Wildfires

Image Source: NBC News

When a child loses everything in a disaster like a fire, they need reassurance and tools to work through their emotions.  

1. Validate Their Feelings

Let your child know it's okay to feel however they feel. 

"It's normal to feel sad, scared, or even angry when something like this happens. I'm here to listen anytime you want to talk."  

2. Focus on Safety

Remind your child they are safe now. 

"The fire is far away, and we're safe. The firefighters are working hard to help everyone."  

3. Create a New Routine 

Routines can bring comfort in uncertain times. Even small rituals, like singing a song at bedtime or having breakfast together, can help.  

"What are things you liked about our old routine that we can keep doing? What are some new things you want to try?"

4. Introduce Coping Exercises

There are many things your child can't do right now, but focusing on things they can do can help them redirect their energy into something that will help calm their anxiety. 

Belly Breathing: Here's a YouTube video to walk you and your child through this simple exercise.  

Blowing Out the Candle: Here's a video that teaches three simple hand-breathing techniques!

5. Use Art to Express Emotions

Encourage your child to draw or paint how they're feeling. They might create pictures of their old home or dream what their new one could look like.  

 

For Families Watching the California Wildfires From Afar

 

When your child isn't directly affected, they may still feel concerned or curious about what's happening. Here's how you can help them process it while building empathy: 

1. Make It Relatable

Share stories of children who've lost their homes and ask, "What do you think it feels like to lose your toys or bed?" Roleplaying and storytelling helps your child understand the emotions others are feeling.  

2. Practice Gratitude Together

You can say, "We're so lucky to have a safe home. What's one thing you're grateful for today?" Gratitude helps your child appreciate what they have while fostering compassion for those who are struggling.  

3. Get Involved

Encourage your child to help. They can donate toys, clothes, or books to children who have lost everything to your local Red Cross. They can also write notes of encouragement or participate in local fundraisers. Knowing they can make a difference empowers kids and strengthens their sense of empathy.  

4. Teach Coping Skills for Big Emotions 

When your child feels sad for others, guide them through these grounding exercises:  

Five Senses Grounding: Ask them to name 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste. This technique helps them stay present.  

Tighten and Release: Have them squeeze their fists or shoulders tight for a few seconds, then let go. This exercise releases tension from their body.  

 

5. Practice Evacuating 

Image Soure: cityofschenectady.com

Like fire drills at school, practicing fire drills at home can become a fun game for kids and help them practice evacuating in the case of a fire at home. 

Create a fire escape plan by walking through your home with your child. Identify two exits from each room and choose a designated meeting place outside. Then, regularly practice evacuating your home by ringing a bell or manually setting off one of your home's fire detectors, exiting quickly using your planned routes, and gathering at the meeting place outside. Always check doors for heat before opening them, and use alternative exits if necessary. 

 

Answering Tough Questions 

Kids may ask difficult questions about the fires. Here's how you can respond:  

Q: Why did the fire burn their house? 

A: "Sometimes fires happen when it's very dry, and they spread quickly. That's why firefighters are so important—they work to stop the fire and help people."  

Q: Will it happen to us?

A: "It's not likely, but we have plans to stay safe if there's ever a fire. People are always working to make sure fires don't happen here, but if they do, we will get through it together."

Q: Why can't they go back to their house?  

A: "The fire made it unsafe, so they'll need to rebuild. It takes time, but they'll have a new home someday."  

 

6 Books to Read to Children About Fires

MaiStoryBook recently compiled this list, and I think it's a great blend of different stories that support children who have had to evacuate from wildfires and also discuss the big emotions surrounding fire devastation, loss, and hope:

 

1. Out of the Woods: A True Story of an Unforgettable Event

By Rebecca Bond

"Based on a true story about the author's grandfather, Rebecca Bond's Out of the Woods is a dramatic tale of survival featuring both animals and people."

2. Fire Storm

By Jean Craighead George and Wendell Minor

"In this second story about the adventures of Axel, acclaimed nature writer Jean Craighead George and award-winning artist Wendell Minor recount the riveting tale of a fearsome fire storm and the cycle of regeneration that follows."

3. Wildfire!

By Ashley Wolff

"With stunning, cinematic art, this fact-based picture book takes readers into the heart of a forest fire and shows how animals survive, how heroic first responders curb the flames, and how life gradually returns to the forest."

4. What to Bring

By Lorna Schultz Nicholson

"This heartfelt and powerful story explores a rare perspective: experiencing a natural disaster through the eyes of a child. Malia’s authentic voice will resonate with readers, and the book’s challenging subject matter is balanced with gentle lessons in communication, problem-solving, and family."

5. The Fox and the Forest Fire

By Danny Popovici

"In a forest fire, so much can change in an instant. But both fox and boy learn that there are some things fire cannot burn. With time, the forest will regrow, the animals will return to their home, and so will the boy and his mom."

6. Simone

By Viet Thanh Nguyen

"From Pulitzer Prize-winning author Viet Thanh Nguyen and illustrator Minnie Phan comes an unforgettable story of a Vietnamese American girl whose life is transformed by a wildfire."

Finding Hope Together

Tragedies like the California wildfires remind us of the fragility of life, but they also show us the strength of community. By helping our children process these events—whether experiencing them firsthand or learning about them from afar—we teach them that it's okay to feel big emotions and care for others.  

If you'd like to donate to organizations helping to fight the fires and rebuild in the aftermath, consider the California Fire Foundation or Convoy of Hope. These small steps build resilience in your child and make the world a little brighter.  

With love,  

Auntie Angie

In response to the California wildfires, the National Child Traumatic Stress Network has published resources to help children and their communities cope with this immeasurable loss. Here is the list:

"Ask Auntie Angie" is a thoughts and advice column. The content provided is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for professional advice or counseling. Dreamshelf Press and its affiliates are not liable for any actions or outcomes based on the advice shared in this blog. Names may have been changed to protect the identities of the people and children in this story. 

Do you have a question for Auntie Angie? Leave your comment below.

Back to blog

Leave a comment